no. 21

All I can really say right now is, "Well, fuck me."
The way that the economy is going is really, really scaring me. My parents just lost a big account at their office and there is no work coming in. It's serious business and it isn't pretty. Economies all around Switzerland are going down the drain or are in recession now (France, Germany, Italy...) and America is really pretty shitty too.
Oh, and Michèle freaked on me tonight for forgetting a half a load of laundry in the wash. I would go on, but I'm not going to. All I'm going to say is that I am frustrated/upset/slightly angry/nervous/not happy with the past few days. I feel like I want to crawl in my bed and not move until my mom comes. I want to run and hide away somewhere other than here. I could go hide away in Italy. I could volunteer in Geneva. I could do a lot of things. But I always run, I know this. I admit to this. This is a fault of mine. I need to stand up and actually talk about all of this. That's so hard for me to do, though. It would require so much self "cheerleading".
I want my mom to be here. Ugh. That's the only word I can use for how I feel. Ugh.
Instead, I'll listen to the Beatles and try not to be scared by the shit that is moving under my kitchen sink. I am having thoughts about opening that door because I'm pretty sure it might be a mouse. Just, someone, steal me away from this shit. It sucks that a decent day turned into a really pretty terrible night.