no. 28

"This Is the Impossibility of the Existence of Anything."

I fear I have become apathetic. I feel absolutely under stimulated. I feel like I need to read more books. That new English bookstore in Lausanne will probably be really good for me in the winter. I'll plan on taking my Wednesdays to go read / get a new book / hang out in Lausanne. Maybe I need to slap myself in the face (metaphorically speaking) and get some motivation to go out and do something with my time and energy instead of run around the mountain. I wish I lived in a city, I really do. I have always found a lot of comfort and inspiration in cities, whether that be Madison, Milwaukee, Louisville, Geneva... you name it. I wish I was able to be closer to the friends that I have (who are amazing and I love them dearly).
And now I need to stop myself from going any further. You can always wish for something else that could be easier, be potentially better, to be somewhere else. Wishing that something was different and actually acting on what you want and need are two different things. I need to make use of my time. I need to get off this damn computer and read what books that I have. I need to steer away from the weekend norm, I need to get out and explore what is around me. I need more random night adventures. What I really need is a good discussion about books, philosophies, reality. I need intellectual stimulation.

What I really need is sleep.